HER NAME WAS JUNIE

We adopted her from a local shelter when she was seven months old. She was clearly damaged emotionally and would not look another animal or human in the eye. When we brought her home, it took her two days to come out from behind the couch, and within 24 more hours she was finally eating, drinking, and sleeping. Love conquered fear.

When I’m afraid this condition will overtake me—when I’m afraid my young grandbabies will never know me any other way, when I’m afraid I won’t be able to continue my public yoga practice or manage the nonprofit intelligently—God’s love comes close and whispers loudly in my ear, louder than the enemy’s whispers. He keeps telling me, “You’re gonna be OK.”

Over and over again, every time I come to Him with my fears, that’s what He says to me: “You’re gonna be OK.”

I don’t know if OK means I’ll ever be the same as before—creative and energetic—or if OK means I’ve found a new normal I can live with. But I know His voice and I trust Him. I know that He loves me and that His promises are true despite appearances. I know that faith overcomes fear and His love is greater than anything I face.

In the Experiencing God study, I learned early in my Christian walk that God is constantly working in and around us, and it is our responsibility to notice Him and obediently walk alongside Him—seeking His agenda, not our own. That’s what I’ve been doing for 36 years, as best I can.

Candidly, the past 17 months have been incredibly difficult. On June 10 it will be 17 months since I’ve been confident in my body. I’m still unable to perform daily tasks confidently—walking, using stairs, showering, driving, brushing my teeth and hair, running the vacuum, emptying the dishwasher, or playing fetch with my dogs—none of these do I do confidently. But I’ve been pushing myself. I’ve also been having precious time with God, and I know with confidence that He has been with me every moment. My faith and His love will continue to overcome the fears I’ve mentioned.

(BTW, I’m astonished there are people who met me only in this condition; they never knew the me that existed before January 10, 2025—or even the me from 11 years before that, when this condition started changing my life in 2014 when I fell off that horse. But would they describe me as fearful? Gosh, I hope not!)

Back to Junie: her name is Ava now. We renamed her after that first week because she was being made new—she was becoming loved and not afraid, right in front of us—so we changed her name. I’m not suggesting I’m taking on a new name, but as my love and my faith continue to overcome my fear, my walk with Jesus continues to grow and He keeps changing me, renewed day by day and giving me new identity with each breath.

Less of me, More of Him.

Love Conquers fear.